We all have trust issues. It’s true that we should NEVER care about what other people say about us. But for me and what I have experienced, there should be boundaries. In some extent you should know how to handle it and you should know how to defend yourself.
Some people will take revenge, some will take a backseat, and some will let it destroy their inner peace. The truth is you have your hands in control you can do anything to respond and maybe defend yourself but before you do that, hear me out.
5 Things Do To Know If You Have Trust Issues
1 – Whether you like it or not, people will have something to say about you.
You think you’re so nice to everyone and they will never ever try to squeeze you out? Think again! Do well or bad, you cannot control what people think or say about you – in your face or in your back. Ouch!
[Tweet Its funny how you’re nice to my face. It’s hilarious how you talk shit behind my back. And it’s downright comical that you think I’m unaware.]
2 – Your “loved ones” will hit you.
I bet you didn’t see that coming, but I’m happy to announce that everyone will not be on your side (even if it’s your partner, siblings, parents, BFF’s, super close office mates and etc.) Compared to others, they actually give us the most pain since of course, they are part of our close circle.
3 – Who is the fisherman?
In this type of “adversity” what I learned (the hard way) is to pay close attention to the people you vent out to. Why is that? Because these people can be a running mouth at the same time! Before you let down all your trust and troubles to that person, be sure he is not disguising to be your “knight and shining armor” who is there for you giving you advice, it’s as if he is also a victim, little did you now that he is actually one of your enemies.
He acts as a middleman between you and the backstabber making him of course, one of the people hitting behind your back. A friend will NEVER EVER DO THAT TO YOU!
Related: How To Spot A Liar
4 – Stop running.
So you are deeply hurt, you trust this person, you’ve never imagine they’ll do that to you. If you choose to face it, here’s what you can do:
- If its work related, what you can do is to reach out to your supervisor but incase he/she is the cause of it all, then contact your HR instead. If they are also involved, then it’s time to escalate to Labor Department or call an Attorney for Legal help.
- If the suspect is within your circle of friends, then you can arrange an open forum. Let them know how the “gossip” affects you, if they are not interested to do this – then, they are not your friend/s anyway.
- If it’s within the family, ask to have a little family gathering and open up. Take it out of your chest can help you.
It’s difficult but you need to try to reach out and do your part. The problem in dealing with gossip is that “you didn’t know the truth” unless otherwise, there is an evidence. Like if you heard it from the person himself.
When someone talks bad things about us behind our back it is really painful. We tend to question the facts they have against us, especially if it can damage your career, reputation and relationships in the long run.
5 – Take the high road
Everything happens for a reason. And those people trying to pull you down? Yes, they have their own reasons too. In life you need to filter what’s going IN and OUT of your heart.
I know this is easier said than done, but if you know what’s worth of your time and what’s not then, you will know that these stubborn piece is actually just a …. DISTRACTION.
You need to decide if you will swim deep into this adversity or you will take the high road. There is more to life than this. For sure there are people that will disagree with you but who cares? You still have those people who genuinely LOVE you for who you are! Treasure them!
If you choose to forgive and forget then please do it for yourself. If you choose to be a better person out of this experience, then please be sure you’re not doing it to prove them all wrong. DO IT ALL FOR YOURSELF…because you deserve to be happy.