Toxic Attitudes That Push People Away

Having a toxic attitude is definitely inevitable because you are human and you encounter different experiences throughout your life’s existence. But it is important to get a vibe on how it affects the people around you.

Here are some possible toxic attitudes to get rid of now.

  1. You insists that life is too unfair.

If you love to think negative thoughts, I’d love to tell you that the energy you put into it is the same as when you decide to shift to the bright side. You always complain about your life – “it’s hard to exercise”, “it’s hard to eat a healthy diet”, it’s hard to save money” and the list goes on.

It’s actually not that hard if you STOP making excuses. Who you are today is a reflection of the choices that you made. You have to realize that you really have a choice!

You can choose to sleep all day or get up and go to work. You can choose to compare yourself to other people or you can choose to work on yourself to get better. You make things complicated for you – and you can fix that NOW.

  1. You waste time and feel guilty about it afterwards.

You know you have to sleep early to save yourself from traffic jam the next morning, yet you still spend time on social media stalking with people’s lives.

Then you will cram the next morning because you’re late, because you haven’t eaten breakfast yet or worst – you forgot you have an important meeting. You have to END this cycle. You cannot act like this every day and expect a different result!

  1. You consistently blame others for your mistakes and misfortune.

No one is responsible for your life but YOU. When you blame other people for your mistakes it’s as if you’re telling them that you cannot fix your own mistakes – and that you are not responsible!

Must-Read: How To STOP Screwing Yourself

Yesterday I was in a cafeteria with a friend when I overheard a young lady talking to her Mom at the next table. She was blaming her mother about her “belly fat”. She told how his boyfriend left him because she was unattractive, fat and ugly. The mother kept silent and I only saw her crying.

toxic attitudes that push people away

What was that? I could not even understand the logic behind it! Why would she blame her mother about her freaking belly fat?! That is absolutely insane!

Have you ever noticed how many times you blame other people and never blame yourself? It’s never really your fault? Right? You are dead WRONG! If you want your life to change for the better, start taking responsibility over your life.

  1. You compare yourself with other people and dig holes of envy and jealousy.

In today’s digital world, everyone is trying to portray a “perfect life”. You take selfie and edit it (to the point that you cannot even recognize yourself!) and confidently post it on your social channel – sure, no big deal – that’s millennial life isn’t it?

Suddenly,  someone else post a picture (let’s say it’s a candid shot yet the girl is still pretty stunning) you started to dig holes of envy – why the heck she’s so flawless? Why she’s so slim? Why I am like this?

I bet you didn’t feel good when you compare yourself with others – Right? I must admit, I sometimes compare myself to others and I soak down into depression.  The truth is, YOU are not in competition with anyone else – but yourself!

So want to feel good about yourself? Measure your progress –  who you were yesterday versus today. Answer that!

  1. You love to collect anger and hate everyday.

If you hate someone, you give that person control over your life. You give them space in your heart. You constantly think of how to repay them of what they did to you, you want revenge and justice – believe me I know the feeling and I will not judge you for that.

When I found out that my former colleague (who used to be my friend as well) was hitting me at my back saying awful if not bad stories about me, I honestly want to kill him with my own bare hands!

Must Read: 5 Things Do To Know If You Have Trust Issues

There was never a time when I think of just letting it go because I want to defend myself so bad.  I knew I didn’t deserve that. I even spent money on hiring an Attorney and file a case.

Did it helped me? No, not a bit. Until one day, I realized that it has already consumed my life and I have to forgive myself for letting him hurt me – and, as ironic as it may sounds, I decided to forgive him (for my own peace).

  1. You let doubts take over your life.

During tough times, you usually doubt your capacity. You let “WHAT IF…” mentality take over. You expect the worst on every situation. Though it’s really not easy to stay positive every day, you have to realize that doubts cannot do any good to you.

You are human and you can make mistakes. Like other human beings in this world. Learn to shake your doubts and let courage take over. You have what it takes! You just need to keep moving. Believe that your efforts will be rewarded, believe that life is good and worth living and believe that love is always worth fighting for.

Must Read: 10 Simple Yet Powerful Rules To Live By

  1. You stop trusting people.

Let’s be honest here, when someone broke your heart and torn your trust into bite sized pieces you can never bring it back. Because trust is precious. Trust is gold. Trust is like respect, it’s something you earn and not easily given.

But you cannot go through life thinking that “no one can be trusted” because that will not help you in any way. You cannot do everything all by yourself – you sometimes need someone else!

You have to believe that there are still people in your life that is worthy of your trust and that they will never let you down no matter what.

  1. You want everything to go as what you expect it to be

Ever wonder why you enjoy getaways that are not planned? That’s because it excites you. You don’t know what will happen. Imagine you have a full proof plan for your life that you have to do whatever it is stated in that plan for as long as you live. I bet the idea itself got you bored and roll your eyes.

[Tweet “Some of the great moments in your life are not those you planned but those that happened to you unexpectedly.”]

There is nothing wrong in planning, but you have to make sure you’re ready for the outcome when the plan is not fulfilled. You have to make your expectations realistic so you will not hurt yourself in the end.

  1. You don’t appreciate your own efforts

While you work hard for your goals, it’s important to stay focused and keep a good attitude. You have to acknowledge your own efforts and remind yourself that you are making progress. Don’t expect a major change (or else you’ll end up getting disappointed).

Sometimes it will be frustrating to see yourself stuck and the results you’ve worked hard for isn’t enough – hang in there. Everything will be alright. Remind yourself that your dreams and happiness is worth fighting for.

Now, it’s your turn…

If you can relate to any of these toxic attitudes, I want to let you know that you are not alone. We are imperfect beings – we have make mistakes but we can learn through them if were willing to.

So, what toxic attitudes sometimes let you down?




  1. Irene Gallardo

    I think we are guilty sometimes in different ways as you metioned. However, to realize this and become a better person it is always the best way to overcome this habits. Great post!

  2. Jerwel De Perio

    Oh. I am so guilty of the numbers 4-8. I guess it’s time to slowly take them off my mind and have a more happy life soon.

    1. Janica

      Hi Jerwel, I think everyone is at some point guilty of anything in the list above. It’s always good to change our attitude 🙂

  3. Marvin Zamora Borromeo

    Good read. By the way, good to hear you decided forgive him.

    1. Janica

      Hi Marvin, yes and I feel so much better now 🙂

  4. Mike Senczyszak

    Procrastination and frustration, for me they play off one another. A vicious cycle sometimes. Great post!

    1. Janica Khemlani

      Hi Mike, I agree with you. Sometimes we’re not even aware that it becomes a cycle. Thanks for reading 🙂

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