How To Catch A Liar And Never Be Fooled Again

how to spot a liar

Do you know a liar in your life? Don’t overthink just give a quick answer. Ready? See? Just thinking about it makes you feel angry and anxious and let me tell you – I feel that too!

Heck were humans so it’s normal to feel betrayed when someone lied to you but what if…you would know the signs? What if you can actually tell based on how they talk, move and look that they’re actually lying? Would you give it a try? Dang! You should!

How To Spot A Liar

If you’re ready to be a little detective **all girls are pretty good at this trust me** here’s a great TED TALK by Pamela Meyer on how you can spot a liar – backed up by science this girl is AMAZING. You definitely need to watch this you will learn A LOT and you need to be sure to have a cup of coffee and a notebook.

If you need more information, then let’s dive deeper.

Types of Lies

Image: UnboundedSpirit

There are four types of lies – the White Lie, the Beneficial Lie, the Malicious Lie and the Deceptive Lie.

The White Lie – this is what stops us from hurting or insulting someone emotionally. Everyone lies a little as a way of getting through life without violence and aggression, and so as to not hurt people.

If you see someone wearing a new outfit that doesn’t suit them, you’ll tell them they look great, so as not to hurt them.

The Beneficial Lie – this is used by a person who intends to help others. Say for example, the rescue worker who pulls a child from the remains of a burning car and lies to the child that his mother and father are OK is saving the child, in the short term, from more trauma.

Doctors who lie to a patient on their deathbed to lift their spirits or prescribe fake meditation, placebos, to patients are also technically lying.

The Deceptive Lie – probably the most dangerous one, because the liar intends to harm or disadvantage the victim for their own benefit.

There are two main ways of deceitful lying – concealment and falsification.

In concealment, the liar doesn’t actually tell a lie, but withholds information. So Jane might tell her friend Mary that she saw Mary’s ex-boyfriend at a party last night. But she doesn’t reveal that she went home with him.

In falsifying, false information is presented as if it was true, intentionally. So Jane might tell Mary she didn’t enjoy the party and ended up going home early, alone.

The Malicious Lies –  or rumor-mongering, are often used as weapons in a competitive situation. Malicious liars set out to destroy the character and reputations of their victims, usually with devastating and lasting results. Imagine if one of two men vying for the attention of the same woman told the woman that the other man had a sexually transmitted disease.

Types of Liars

who is the liar
Image: GoodReads

Natural Liar – is someone who does have a conscience but is confident of their ability to deceive, and has been doing so since childhood. Often they learned to lie to their parents to avoid terrible punishments that would be handed out if they told the truth.

Many natural liars capitalize on this ability as adults by becoming trial lawyers, salespeople, negotiators, actors, politicians and spies.

Unnatural Liar – is a person who, as a child, was convinced by his parents it was impossible for him to lie and that the parent and others would always detect it.

These poor saps go through life telling everyone the truth about everything, insisting “I can never tell a lie” and causing anger and trouble among everyone they meet.

Image: Keenetrial

Romantic Liar – One of the most dangerous liars a woman can encounter, when this liar is operating, most women have little idea of what’s going on. They specialize in concealing the fact that they;re married while others are expert at posing as lawyers, doctors and successful business people in order to win respect and sex appeal.

These liars are limited only by their imagination. As a result, they can cause women enormous harm, emotionally, psychologically, and often, financially.

The usual goal of the Romantic Liar is to extract money, accommodation, sex and other benefits from an unsuspecting woman. In return, he pretends to offer her excitement and love.

Source: Adapted from Why Men Don’t Have a Clue & Women Always Need More Shoes, by Allan and Barbara Pease


how to spot a liar

  • Miss Piggy

    For some odd reasons I have an idea if a person is lying to me or not. I guess one reason would be, I pay attention on every body gestures they do and know when something is not right. Sometimes I let them believe that they succeed in lying but sometimes I would just walk out. I hate being lied, its the worst feeling anyone might have.

    • Yeeey! You know me too! I have this instinct that someone is lying esp when they cannot look straight into my eyes haha!

  • Wow. To be honest, I’m speechless about this post. I, myself lie – come on we’re humans we’re not perfect. We lie because we want to protect someone, we lie because we don’t want to hurt others, we lie because we have to. But what I know for sure is that we lie either of these two reasons; we don’t want to offend someone or we’re doing something bad. I didn’t know there’s a lot of kinds of lies and liars.

    Trust is getting harder to earn and give these days, we should be cautious on whom we should give our trust.

    • Happy you liked this post as much as I do writing it. I think because people nowadays are so accustomed to hearing,reading and talking lies they don’t even know the truth or how to express the truth. If we lie, I hope it’s for the best intention as possible 🙂

  • AngeliePangilinan

    It’s true that lying is a part of human nature and no matter how hard we try, we always get caught up in a situation where we find ourselves lying, may it be for the good or the bad. While we can’t completely get rid of it from our system, we can always strive and do our best to fight the urge to lie. 😉 Honesty is the best policy. 🙂

  • daawnflores

    I know so many people who are liars. Mostly, malicious liars who spend most of their time vying for attention by spreading lies about a specific person. What’s worse is that the other person didn’t even do anything to deserve those lies. I just hope many people would stop spreading lies and just live peacefully with each other.

    • Gossippers! Arrgh! Total time wasters and killing some else’s happiness. Don’t give them room in your life 🙂

  • So far so Sabine

    I agree that lying is part of human nature. I’m a big fan of honesty. A lot of people feel that honesty can hurt sometimes and they prefer to lie. Every one can lie to you. It takes courage to be honest.

    • It takes guts to be honest even in the most uncomfortable situations! 🙂

  • tet

    I listened to the whole video on how to be a liar spotter. She’s good in speaking, Too bad she just can’t book a date in Starbucks because of her book. Maybe people thought that Pamela would knew on their first meeting if they’re lying or not.

    • Yes! I thought if that too! She’s a one genius lady no one would dare to mess with lol

  • That was one very informative post. Sometimes, you just don’t want to hurt that’s why you lie. Some are very helpful but the most common defense for doing it is “I don’t want to hurt you.” cause I guess, it’s easier to tell a lie than the truth.

    • Yep totally agree but we cannot keep secrets forever also, right?

  • Milton Coyne

    i’m not gonna lie but I have lied a lot of times but I got reasons for doing them .. if only we got the ability to read people’s thoughts, it would be easy for us to determine which one is lying and which one is telling the truth

    • We all do. And I think as humans we have this tendency to know if someone is intentionally lying

  • I think I already mastered finding out romantic liars. Totally, not worth my time. Interesting post.

  • Interesting! Of course sometimes it’s necessary to tell a lie–perhaps to keep someone out of danger or to avoid betraying a confidence. But I don’t understand people who are malicious liars. I feel that it often stems from competitiveness but who wants to win by lying?

    • Do you know study shows that chronic liars don’t even believe themselves too? That’s the worst thing!

  • I’m one person who does not like lies. I hate it when I am being lied at, so it’s something that I don’t want to do to other people. We must always try to do things right. That way, it won’t be a struggle to ensure that our words & actions are the always the same.

    • Yes yes yes! If we’re honest no need to remember anything! 🙂

  • Carola

    I hate lies. For me it’s really important to trust someone. Not all lies are equally as bad. Romantic liars are terrible. But liars at work as well!

    • I think lies in general are really BAD not unless were trying to protect someone we love

  • Sam

    The worst liars of all are the romantic type. No wonder many women have trust issues. If there’s nothing else to do, it’s best to just focus on improving oneself than wasting all that energy trying to be someone you’re not.

    • So many people have been broken hearted because of these pesky romantic liars! Ouch! It’s really a matter of choosing who to trust.